The difference between the life im living and the life i want to live is so great, it seems like too far a gap to bridge. How can i get from here to there. I want a home, a studio, and a family. Instead i am living with my father, i'm beginning two new non-art jobs tomorrow, and i'm two months out from an incomplete pregnancy. I know that the only way I can secure the future i want is by living the life i have currently- and inching toward that future. it just feels like such a slow and unrewarding crawl. each day i live in my current life drains me of hope i have that i'll see the future i want, and my motivation to continue on dwindles. I can't see the path from here to there. I look ahead and worry i'll be stuck here forever. Sitting at home like a child, paying all my money to rent in a place i cant relax, wasting my life away at a job i dont care for. When do i see returns on this? When will i have anything for myself- any of the life that i want? Or will i ever? There's no answer. And no way to know. And no way to stop inching toward a future irregardless of whether or not its the one i want. So in the meantime all i can do is work, and hope.